I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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