I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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