from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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