yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
