belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
