the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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