insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
