I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
