i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
