Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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