and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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