that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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