the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
