Nicole vs. Life
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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