Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
