I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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