I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
