No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
