love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
someone owes me an orgasm
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
