do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
