Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
