I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
