his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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