Pants 0. Shit 1.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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