I met the friendliest cop last night
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Randomize
