I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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