my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
