Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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