I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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