So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
