Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
