He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I deserve this hangover.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
