It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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