hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
