i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
