So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize