I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
