so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
