did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize