there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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