i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
