I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
