I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
