so explain again why im purple
no
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
