He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
