I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
