its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
