he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
