So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize