YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
