He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
