Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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