you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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