So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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