Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
