Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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