Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
