So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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