Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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