I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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