Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize