So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
