dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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