More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
