you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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