is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
