It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just threw up on my dentist
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
