could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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