My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
