she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
