I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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