sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
